It’s true. I try to be authentic and transparent with you. But over the last year, I had my reasons to keep this BIG personal secret from you. Now it’s finally the time to tell you.
First, I will explain why I chose to hold back on you. My youngest son is about to turn 18. He has intellectual impairments, and he has been in his own residential care for the last three years (I explained my family’s journey on this in the back of my book Speed Manifesting in the “Values” section). He is about to move into his adult residence and we held back telling him, waiting for him to settle before we explained. However, that move was delayed for many months.
I felt that it wasn’t right to share this very personal situation with you until my own son knew, of course (though, you know that I am very willing to share my own journey with you, as long as it doesn’t interfere with other peoples’ privacy, especially my own family).
And, I prefer to share my “after stories” not my “during stories” so I can give you my hindsight and insights about what to do when things go haywire in our lives plus how to move through the circumstances quickly and get back on track.
There it is. YES, after 27 years and my only marriage, I am going through separation and divorce. Yes, we had an amazing story of our holiday romance; I crossed the ocean for this man; I left everything I knew to be with him; he took me into his New Zealand family and ALWAYS provided consistently for us; we had 2 children, 3 careers and 4 homes together. We traveled extensively; we even moved countries together and started again. Yes, I loved him deeply – and was absolutely In Love with him almost continually throughout those three decades. No, neither of us ever made the most damaging relationship mistakes: no cheating, no lying, no stealing, no abusing each other (well, we both unknowingly have dished out/received some mutual mental abuse – that’s what happens when two very different people, with very different values keep trying to make it work.)
We are both happy to complete this. It is going well as we untangle our lives and finances. But I can see why it lasted so unreasonably long, for such a mismatch. And why I was so committed to the relationship for so long.
If you have burning questions, you know you can message me. Answering your questions and guiding you to living a more expanded life is what I came here to do.
Comments
Wow! Our lives are almost parallel. I just got divorce after 29 years of marriage. The reason we stayed together for that long is because of the kids. I have one daughter who is 27 and one son who is 23. They never wanted to see us divorce. Now both of us are trying to put our lives back together. 2015 was my year of change, I got divorce and quit my stressful job of 14 years to start my real estate business in November and never looked back. 2016 is my year of new beginnings.
Powerful and courageous Derrick. Thanks for sharing that! Whatever is behind us, is behind us. It has taught me so much. I have learned to honour myself and my values without righteousness or arrogance. From that space, CHOICE is much better. Bring on 2016!
My life is similar only in the fact that I too left everything I knew to be with my husband. I didn’t cross oceans, but I did crossed state lines. We’ve been married 10 years as of this posting, unfortunately, I cannot say that they have been happy. I am constantly contemplating divorce. What holds me back is the fact that I am retired and receiving a fixed income that is barely above poverty.
Such a shame when income rules so much of our choices. Linda my new book is a novel about 9 Lessons of Wealth and it’s a love story between two evolved people. It will be out in a few months, and I would love to share these lessons with you soon. In the meantime, focusing on the sources of income is the singular focus for increasing life in the current worldview. Do you still have Speed Manifesting? You can re-read Balanced Wealth in the first section. It helps. Keep in touch. You are calling me to work with you about this, I can feel it. Stay calm. I was using this affirmation and it worked beautifully to keep my thoughts positive in the toughest moments: “I choose hope and optimism for my life.”